Let's Turn This Thing Electric

WARNING!
Mature Content!

So, I was just thinking (okay, so I've actually been thinking about this for a while) about all those random fetishes out there. Things like chains and whips come to mind when people say the word fetish, but it's not just that. there are whole worlds of fetishes!

fet·ish (also fet·ich) n.
(fět'ĭsh, fē'tĭsh)

1. An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.
2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
3. Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
4. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.

What Hurts The Most.

Things like pain are the first to come to mind. I don't find that surprising though. Pain releases adrenalin, and a rush of energy. I understand how that works. I have a bit of a pain fetish myself. Actually over 53% of the population has some kind of a pain fetish, so don't call us freaks... Okay go ahead.

There are folks who get off on power trips. I can see how that does the trick. You get to become angry and let out all of your frustration. Who doesn't like angry sex? It's all about being the top dog. Isn't that everyone's dream?

Well, apparently not. For every dominate lover there's the submissive one they make "love" to. They like to be told they're worthless, and that they're petty. They like to be treated badly. Which I can kind of understand. It's like: In a world where everything is trying to make you feel good, you just want someone to tell the truth. So that's my guess about that one. *shrugs*

Anatomy.

Then there's that whole body part thing. There are guys who are turned on just from looking at a vagina or a set of bobs. That makes sense. Then there are guys who get turned on from seeing an ass, a pair of hands, and pouty lips. I can see that happening too. What I don't understand are the people turned on by feet. What. The. Hex.

I mean honestly, what is it about feet that turn you on? The only thing I can see about them that maybe found appealing is that they're dirty... Which is not my thing. Take a shower before you hop into bed with me. Please & Thank You.

There are women *and men, no hating on my gays* that get turned on from seeing penises. Are just things that are like penises. Like pencils and stuff. Which is kinda weird. Seeing as anything can be made into a phallic symbol. I would feel kinda awkward if I sat with someone as extrema as that, but if you get turned on from seeing an actual Penis then that's okay. Or like a dildo, or something meant to resemble a penis... I guess I'd be able to understand like a banana or cucumber or carrot... As long as you kept it to yourself... Cause I'd rather not know that about you...

I wanna f**k you "like" an animal.

It's sooo Taboo. But I can see where these people are coming from. *Not literally*

It's like the folks who are turned on by the embarrassment. Your being told your not good enough for a human. I also understand that animals have bigger wee-wees then actual men *falls on floor laughing* So, I can see where some people might get off on that.

I have my own personal golden rule though:

You shouldn't be inside a dog, and a dog should not be inside of you.

Spiffy ain't it? Made it up myself. There should be t-shirts dedicated to this. Get on it people!... Not literally though, because that would break the rule.

Let it go.

Necrophiliacs are sooo strange to me. I mean, it's okay to think about making love to someone who's past on... Just don't dream about making love to someone's dead and inanimate corpse! Out of all the fetishes this is the one and only one I can't understand. I mean is it because they can't tell you no? Is that it?... Ew.

If someone could please explain this, leave a comment...x.x

Go Green

Dendrophilia has to be extremely awkward. You can't go through a walk in the park without wanting to stop and make out with those things can you? *Just kidding! I'm trying to lighten up the mood* I mean what do you do? "Hey baby, how about you let me water you some time?" I think this probably goes back to that whole phallic symbol thing again, and if you squint your eyes maybe that whole looking at vagina thing too. So I guess I kinda understand, but keep it to yourself.

I'm sure Captain planet would be only too happy to hear about it though. Lawlz.

The object of my affection

People who get turned on by non-human related inanimate objects. Again this probably goes back to that phallic symbol thing of people trying to find something to masturbate to.

Shocking News

This goes back to that whole pain thing, but I really wanted to give it it's own place. there are people who are making cock rings that send out electric shocks! To a lot of you that may sound like: Holy crap! Honey grab the kids! * runs out of the house* but to others it's quite the turn on.

It's not just having their hoo-hoos shocked either. It's any part of they're body. Again this goes with that submissive/pain. The adrenaline rushes through you body and turns you on. Hm, maybe I'll try this out sometime... You know... When I don't care about my skin cells dying and all that stupid stuff. *JK*

In the end

Sorry for all of you who read the title of this section and expected anal conversation *laughs*. This is the end of this blog. I will be coming out with part two in the future, and then maybe a part 3 if it goes over well. Leave some awesome feed back, and your favorite pick up line for any of the phillias mentioned above!

My Random question

So here's what I got as my random question:
What would your camoufladge be if you were hiding in a gingerbread house?

Or some other bull that I'm sure some jerk out there is getting paid to make-up. Here's how I [fully] answered! 8D!

* * * * *

I would probably just wear gingerbread...But then again what the hell am I doing in a gingerbread house in the first place? Is this some kind of sick joke? You can't hide from zombies in a gingerbread house! They'd knock down the walls! Is that what I'm camouflaging myself from? Zombies? What kind of idiot am I!

You can't hide in a gingerbread house! And you definitely can't camouflage yourself in gingerbread! NOT WHEN IT'S ZOMBIES!

Am I trying to lure in unicorns? Is that what I'm doing? Because they don't like gingerbread! At least not without icing? Is there icing?...What am I talking about of course there's icing. What else is gonna hold together the house? Cement? That goes against all the rules of gingerbread house building! By the way: Who the hell decided it was okay to build houses out of gingerbread? Why not oatmeal cookies? I like those... I bet it doesn't taste good though... I bet it taste like complete and utter crap because it's someone's house. They'd be farting in it and everything! Number one rule of eating a gingerbread house: DON'T little gingerbread men have probably been spreading their icing everywhere.

On that note: Who lives in a ginger bread house? Honestly? I'll tell you who: A really rich anorexic guy. Why? Because he's the only one who could pay for that kind of shit! Not to mention he'd be the only who wouldn't be tempted into eating it. Seeing as most people don't think about others farting and doing god knows what in THEIR home, that's exactly what 89% of the population would do: EAT IT!

Mean while, on topic!-

Well, I'd probably just end up breaking a sugar glass window and run away if the need to be camouflaged is a threat, but other wise I'd just sit there like: Hey, I'm inside a freakin' gingerbread house... How'd it get so big? Dude who lives there that I'm afraid of? The anorexic rich guy? Psht, I'd kick his ass! He's anorexic, how much could he possibly weigh? It be like stealing candy from a baby, or a ginger bread house from a really weak guy.

Is it a gingerbread man? Because then I'd have to freak out, because it's a talking F**king cookie! But then I'd punch them in their gingerbread face...AND EAT 'EM! Except I probably wouldn't because they'd probably would have been farting all over the place! FREAKIN' TALKING GINGERBREAD MEN!

How the hell do you go about making those? Witch craft? Is that who it is? A witch? Because then I'd just shake her hand be like: Dude teach me! I wanna make talking oatmeal cookie men! Then I'd like create my own army of oat meal cookie men, but I wouldn't actually use 'em... #1 rule of war: No using food as army men. They get soggy.

Which brings me to this: What the hex am I doing in there in the first place?

How to Glarificate

Salutations!

If you happen to be reading this, you've found your way to Glarification's blog site! You may have found it fro Glarificaton's DeviantArt or you may not have even been looking it. If that's the case:get the hex out of here before the zombies eat you.

In this blog you shall find:

• An assort ment of meaningles jibber jabber
• The use of the word HEX in replacement of HECK
• The implication that zombies exist and that the Necropocalypse is a not too distant future
• The love of bubbles and other childhood wonders
• Assistance for day to day human interactions
• Lovely little things that I make up!
• Facial expression: 8D, XD, ^.^, >.
• References to meaningless movies
  
  • Resident Evil Series
  • The Last Unicorn
  • Any Zombie Movie I can think of
  • Johnny Depp Movies
  • Romance Movies
  • Horror Movies
  • Comedy Movies
  • Any movie that happens to cross my mind!
    
• References to meaningless shows
  
  • Doctor Who
  • Buffy
  • MadTv
  • Saturday Night Live
  • Robot Chicken
  • The Upside Down show
  • VH1's Top 20
  • More from Adult swim and other such Cartoon Network favorites

What exactly is Glarification?
The process of having me (Glare) put things under my evil eyes, and looking at at until it runs away. In other words: Having me take any question and answering it to the best of my abilities.

How does one Glarificate?
One Glarificates by coming on here, reading this and further expanding their Glarifinowledge. [Just kidding, I will not just put Glare in front of a word and call it mine...that would get annoying quick.] You come on here and read the answer to a question previously asked. Then, if you want, send me a letter with a question of your own.

I think I should warn you though, I tend to get off topic. I have a kind of ADD if you will: Attention Deficiency Did you see that butterfly?

Nothing is out of line to be spoken of. If I don't talk about it, it probably wasn't thought of. Just send me a message and I'll be sure to punch the topic in the face as soon as I can. Tv shows, Movies, Books, Politics, Society in general, or just a simple question about how to deal with that weird guy at work *shivers*.

You talk about it!
I'll Glare at it!